Fit Yourself Properly

Now, this is a post for the ladies, or gentlemen, whichever way you look at it. Brace yourselves ladies, this is a long one (that's what he said).

"9/10 woman wear the wrong sized bra" - how many times do you hear that old chestnut (and promptly ignore it)? You don't have to be an expert to see when someone is simply wearing an ill fitting boulder holder, or to know that yours doesn't fit you properly either. We all have that certain bra that only makes them look good in a certain top and you can't wait that bra because you might get the dreaded 'quad-boob', but how many of us actually do something about it.

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Most women are hurried in to a M & S cubicle at the age of about 12, bright red as a beetroot, are told to remove their training bra, are poked and prodded for a bit and then given a number and a letter. The next hour is spent wandering around the horrid 'first bra' section with too many flowers and stipes on everything, looking for something as quickly as possible so they can get out of there soon. This experience leaves us so scarred for life that we very often never venture back. We then coast through life, increasing our cup size as and when we see fit (often wrongly). This can often have terrible consequences for the breasts of many a woman. 

What we forget is that as we grow, we are changing size and shape the whole time. As our weight fluctuates, this is also true. We may buy bigger clothes (and pants) but rarely do we ever adjust the size of our bras. This can have devastating consequences in later life, with links to badly fitting bras and breast cancer, along with back problems and of course, may I draw your attention back to the 'quad boob' syndrome. For whatever reason, us ladies tend to ignore some of our best assets. I know bras can be expensive but we need to wake up to the fact that they are an important accessory! You wouldn't stick a foundation five shades too dark on your face, would you, so give your girls (cringe) the best chance possible!

Over the last couple of years, my body has changed shape a little. When I was at university, I was a keen rower, competing heavily in my second year. This obviously increases the muscles across your back, but at the same time, you lose fat off of your body - causing your boobs to shrink. Needless to say, I was a poor student, I couldn't afford to re-stock my drawers with the finest offerings of M & S, I just carried on using the same one as normal. In my final year, I moved on to coxing (I was never really as tall as the rest!) and this required getting down to weight, meaning that the muscles across my back reduced and my body size shrunk. THEN, after graduating and moving to London, life is full of commuting, working, lunches on the go and desk based snacks. So, I barely have any time for exercise - HELLO EXTRA lbs.  This fat has delightfully (not) planted itself, among other places, on my chest, meaning a whole new shape, again! Honestly, who could keep up.

The time has come to do something about this. I (shamefully) still own, and wear many bras that are over five years old, before all of the above occurred. I am certainly not the lean 18 year old I was once. I mean, my bras do the trick, but they are getting to the point of uncomfortable and basically, I should just sort this out. They are in need of a re-vamp anyway so I may as well make sure I am investing wisely.

This is where I will get to the point (finally). I am far too embarrassed busy to book myself in to be measured so I thought, hey, it can't be that hard. All I need is a tape measure (check) and an online guide (pending). I looked, and looked but I could not find anything as simple as "measure here, now here, now here is your size". Everything overcomplicated it by telling you to add four if an even number and five if it's odd and subtract this here there and everywhere. I even found one online calculator that told me I was a 36A. Anyone who has ever met me will know that this is so far from the truth it is hilarious. Without going in to personals, if my band measurement was 30", why on Earth would I be taking a 36 in a bra?! This doesn't make sense realistically, or according to their 'calculator'.

So, I thought I would put together a brief summary of what I have found to be an effective, and discreet way of measuring yourself at home. It's so simple, I'm not sure why anyone over complicates it, or makes you book an appointment for a week Thursday just to get your kit off in the middle of your chosen bra fitting establishment.

Firstly, grab yourself a tape measure that has inches on it - this shouldn't be hard, most do.

Wrap this around the 'band' area. This is directly underneath your breasts, just below where your bra sits. Make a note of this measurement. If your number is odd, then round it up to the nearest even number e.g. 31" should be 32". Many sites will tell you to add four here, don't. This is basically saying add four inches to your chest size, think about it, this doesn't make sense. I think it descends from a few years back when bras were not as well fitted as they are now and did not account for stretchiness. 

Next, you need to measure the cup size. You can do this with or without bra, aslong as the bra is not padded and your boobs aren't descending lower than your waist. If you are worried, measure both, and take an average. Measure around the fullest point of your breasts (about nippleage area) and make a note of this. Again, if your number is odd, then round it up to the nearest even number e.g. 35" should be 36".

Now, subtract the band size, from the cup size. Apply this number to the figures below:

0"=AA cup

1"=A cup

2"=B cup

3"=C cup

4"=D cup

5"= DD cup

6"= E cup

7"=F cup

8"=FF cup

9"= G cup

To finish up, bring back your band size, pair it with your cup size, and voila! e.g. if your band size is 32" and your cup size is 36", then your number is 4", making your chest size, a 32 D.

Finally, get yourself down to your favourite underwear stockist and purchase yourself a few new treats for your bussoms. If the thought of this still hurts your pockets, go for one black and one white bra - let's face it, these will be the most useful and think how much better you will feel and look! Oh, and chuck away that nasty beige thing with the underwire sticking out that you save for 'off days'. Boobs are boobs, they don't have 'off days'.

Here's a hand tip - when you first buy a bra, it should do up on the outer set of hooks, the extra hooks are for as the elastic stretches over time and you need to move up a hook.

Remember though, the above calculation is of course a generalisation and I would advise you to take the size you find above, as well as one either side if you are worried. Use some common sense, if the size you are given above clearly doesn't fit as well as the one a size up or down then adjust it accordingly. This is not an exact art and is not set in stone, it is simply a guide to help.